DEIR EZ-ZOR, Syria (North Press) – A few months after 27-year-old Amira al-Shawish, a resident of the Syrian government-held city of Abu Kamal in the eastern countryside of Deir ez-Zor, married her cousin, the latter married another woman.
Last year, al-Shawish was forced into an arranged marriage despite her refusal, but her family pressured her cousin under the pretext that she has been a mohaiyara (children who are promised to each other at a young age) since she was a little girl.
The practice of al-Hayar is when a male “claims” one of his cousins at a very young age and prevents her from marrying anyone else, and the inherited custom forces the girl into a forced marriage when she grows up, even if she does not want it.
Al-Shawish is a victim of this marriage, which she was never convinced of, but as a result of the customs and traditions, which still prevail among the lives of families and individuals in villages of Deir ez-Zor, she does not dare to ask for a divorce.
Many young men and women in Deir ez-Zor, Raqqa, and Hasakah do refuse to be married to their relatives, out of fear of giving birth to sick or disabled children. However, in light of the harsh consequences that may result in them being cast out from their families, those people resort to delaying the wedding, travelling, or finding other ways out of the marriage. Some of them may succeed, though some others may be forced into the marriage.
Individuals of both genders agree that women are more affected than men by these marriages, as in some cases refusing to marry a cousin may result in their murder, while the punishment for a young man who refuses an arranged marriage and his family’s will is expulsion from the home or deprivation of inheritance.
In March 2009, young Hammda, a woman from Raqqa city, was killed by her cousin, who knew that his uncle would marry his daughter off to another person although he was mohaiyara to her.
In July, social media was abuzz with news of the murder of a minor girl from Hasakah, Ayda al-Hamoudi, who was killed when she refused to be married to her cousin and fled with another man.
Sick children
Additionally, those who are forced into arranged consanguineous (cousin) marriages fear health risks, especially fetal diseases and malformations.
7.9 million children are born with a serious birth defect of genetic or partially genetic origin—that is, 6% of total births a year worldwide, according to the World Health Organization (WHO).
Cultural practices such as inbreeding, are important factors in the spread of genetic disorders such as thalassemia and sickle cell anemia, the WHO says.
19-year-old Horiya al-Taha (a pseudonym), a young woman from al-Mayadin, said that she was designated as a mohaiyara to her 20-year-old cousin, who in turn delays the wedding under the pretext of “high costs of the marriage.”
Meanwhile, al-Taha’s cousin refuses to marry her, and he told her that if he is forced to marry her, he will do so, but he will marry another woman of his choosing.
The young girl pointed out that there is nothing in common between her and her cousin but kinship.
Sometimes, differences of age and educational attainment and other conditions that should be available in spouses may cause mismatch between relatives.
No feelings
In order to delay the wedding date, 26-year-old Abdulrazeq al-Okla, a young man from Abu Kamal whose relative is mohaiyara to him, could find no way out of his arranged marriage but to invoke the instability in the area.
Al-Okla, who also rejects the custom of al-Hayar, is trying his best to delay the wedding and keeps promising his family that he will get married when the Syrian crisis ends.
The girl has no other choice but to wait in light of her family’s refusal to allow her to marry another man.
21-year-old Hanan al-Mohaidi (a pseudonym), a young woman from Abu Kamal who has been a mohaiyara to her cousin from a young age, finds that the travel of her cousin, who has been in Turkey since 2017, is a way to postpone the wedding.
Al-Mohaidi hopes that her cousin stays in Turkey and gets happily married there, and hopes that he announces the end of her al-Hayar. “If that does not happen, I will become a maid after marriage, because there is no loving bond that unites us.”
“Whenever I think about my cousin’s return I hate myself, because I will be forced into this marriage, my future will be destroyed, and tradition will decide my fate,” she added.